Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
