I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
