I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
