You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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