I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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