the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize