I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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