So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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