STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
