I would go down on you faster than GM stock
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize