I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
