I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
