i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
