so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
