hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
