"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
