I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
