Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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