Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
