and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
