I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
