I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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