Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
