no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
birth control should be required to get into college
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
