he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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