he thought i was a dude.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
