She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
