i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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