I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
