Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
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I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize