How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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