help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
