used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
