my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
why is half of my head shaved?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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