She's JV to your varsity
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize