Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
