my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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