It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
