I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
