Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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