i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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