I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
