The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
