so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
