so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
