This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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