just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
