shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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