Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
