so explain again why im purple
no
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
