I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
