I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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