forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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