I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
