You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
